Life After Divorce
Life After Divorce
There’s no easy way to dress up divorce as it can be a messy and heart-breaking process, especially if kids are involved. Keeping a marriage together is a difficult task and you pretty much deserve a badge of honour if you last longer than 10 years let alone a lifetime together. The pressure and stress that we feel when going through divorce is often placed upon ourselves by ourselves and even though our friends and relations mean well they can often leave us feeling guilty and confused despite of their best intentions.
Life after divorce
A couple of my friends have recently gone down the path of breaking up with their long-term partners and it got me to thinking about advice that I could offer that would really work. Of course, everyone is different and we handle situations in our own way but if you’re going through a divorce or separation I hope the following words will help you get back to happiness.
Time is a healer
There’s no other way to put this but if you’re looking for answers as to when you’re going to feel ‘back to normal’ there really aren’t any. If you’ve just got divorced then you’re either going to feel like a huge weight has been lifted or that you’ve lost your right arm. Whatever emotions you’re experiencing it’s going to take a while before they balance out and you can get back to living your life again. Take one day at a time and concentrate on positives and things that make you feel happy. If you’re feeling loss then be careful what you fill that gap with because often jumping into another relationship will leave you with some unresolved issues that you may need to address. Often letting a partner go and moving on is like giving up a drug and the same rules for disengaging apply: take things one day at a time, talk to someone who’s a good listener and steer clear of things that will tempt you back.
Enjoy your own company
As mentioned, diving straight into a new relationship often feels like a completely sensible option, after all, you’ve just split up from a partner so getting a new one seems like an obvious recourse. But wait! Getting to know yourself again is vitally important. You may have changed in personality and now your tastes and lifestyle might be completely different to when you first embarked on your initial relationship. This is your chance to feel happy within yourself and from doing things on your own to designing your own living space, exactly the way that you want it; there’s never been a better time to do exactly what you want for a change. Although being alone can seem like a daunting prospect, it’s often a rite of passage that you need to go through before you can expel your emotional baggage and learn to love yourself, and someone else, again.
Getting back to basics
And so we get to the fun part, getting back to basics. You’ve grieved, you’ve partied and you’ve gone it alone, the next step is looking for romance. No one says that you have to find a new partner and no one can tell you when you need to start looking but if you feel that this is something you’d like to try then there’s only one thing left to do: go for it! Online dating, blind dating, speed dating, you name it and there’s a method of meeting a new partner that may or may not be right for you. Have fun with your new life and play the field if you like, this is your chance to learn from past mistakes or make the same ones all over again. The best advice is to only get back into dating once you’ve expelled all of your grievances because there’s no quicker turn off than sitting opposite someone rabbiting on about their ex all night. Basically, make sure you feel happy before you get out there and there’s no simpler method than a bit of retail therapy. Buy some sexy lingerie, new shoes or a hot little black dress just to help your confidence and before you know it you’ll be back on honeymoon and loving your new life.
Read:
- Tips to Start dating again after divorce
- Using Internet Dating Sites to Start Dating After Your Divorce
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