Breaking up with Someone: What to do and say
how to tell your boyfriend you want to break up
When Art Garfunkel, once sang 50 ways to leave your lover he probably didn’t envisage the emotional minefield he referenced.
One of the hardest parts of dating is to let someone know you are not interested. Of course, it’s easy to do so abruptly, but managing to show your disinterest, while managing to seem respectful and not really hurting them can be a tricky line to navigate.
Managing to achieve clarity is one thing but doing so with a sense of empathy is another. However, there are ways and means to achieve let someone down and still coming across as courteous. Coming across as a nice person, even when letting someone down is Important for both the person and you.(1)
i want to break up but i can t
Here are a number of ways to break it off with someone, however the use of each one has to be suitable for the specific scenario – and that’s for you to judge.
- Direct responses – can’t go out with you.
- Apology – I’m sorry, however…..
- Worry – Don’t take this the wrong way
- Encouragement – Even though you’re a wonderful person….
- Explanation – ‘I’m not ready for a relationship yet.
All of these are suitable beginnings for rejection and can be used suitably depending on the specific scenario.(2)
Read: 5 Tell-Tale Signs He Is Not The One For You, And It’s Time To Move On
Of course, aside from beginning the break up, here are some tips to follow from to ensure you are gracious when breaking up.
- Don’t break up with anyone by text or over the phone as this is both demeaning and insulting. Choose a public place that also offers some privacy. You may want to bring a friend.
- Make sure the person knows your reasons – they’re going to want to know why you’re leaving them. Practice what you’re going to say in your head before you say it and finish with a clear statement telling them you are breaking up.
- Bringing a tissue keeps you focused on the task in hand and ensures that the situation is always real. Remember you have a purpose and need to do what has to be done.
- Be direct and let the person know your feelings. However, also give them the chance to say what they need to say and make their point.
- However, the most important thing is to not change your mind. Emotions can sway us at times like this and you should have thought long and hard about the situation. Don’t let the heat of the moment sway you.
Read: Top 5 dating dealbreakers
Of course, finally take care and remember the seriousness of the situation at hand for you and the person. Take care when doing so and best of luck.
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