Tips to Start dating again after divorce
Getting back into dating after a divorce doesn’t need to be scary – with the right attitude, it can be fun and exciting!
If you’ve gone through a divorce and are ready to start going out on dates again, there are a few important things to keep in mind. Sometimes dating after a divorce can be intimidating for a person. Getting back into dating after a divorce can be tough. I have heard some people say that they forget how to date, or that the thrill is gone for them.(1)
Most of the time, what this is really about is insecurity. Getting back on that horse after a divorce can be scary because you’ve likely had your heart broken by your former partner. Now, your confidence has been shaken and you wonder if you’re really up to the task of wooing somebody else. Well you know what? You are. It just takes some practice.
First, though, it’s crucial that you’re getting back into the game for the right reasons. Don’t let your good intentioned family or friends talk you into doing it before you’re ready, and don’t feel pressure to start seeing other people just because your former husband or wife is doing so. Rushing back into it before you’re ready is almost a guaranteed way to ensure that it won’t work.
As for the cold feet, just accept that there might be some “first time” jitters, and then get on with it. Recognize that there is a difference between not being ready to date and being nervous about it. It’s perfectly acceptable and normal to be nervous! Take solace in the knowledge that it will become easier the more you do it.
Another concern people often have is that they don’t know where to meet a potential love interest. Some of them feel like the bar scene no longer interests them. Others might find that everyone in their social circle is spoken for – this is natural, as married couples tend to seek out other married couples for friendship.
But, don’t despair. There are alternatives to hitting up bars or relying on your friends set you up on blind dates. For example, online dating is becoming increasingly popular. It gives you the opportunity to meet potential partners without a lot of the hassle that is typically associated with putting yourself out there. Sometimes people who are getting back into dating after a divorce find this method to be the least threatening, as well.
Lastly, don’t expect too much too soon. It’s fine to date with the ultimate goal of finding that special person to settle down with, but it’s not a good idea to be too intense about finding him or her. Remember to enjoy yourself, and treat the process first and foremost as a way to have fun and meet new people.(2)
If you don’t have success right away, don’t give up. Chalk bad dates up to nothing more than learning experiences or funny stories you can use to entertain your friends. Remember that you have a lot to offer to the right man or woman, and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you happy! Getting back into dating after a divorce doesn’t need to be scary – with the right attitude, it can be fun and exciting!
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