The One Question That Will Instantly Transform Your Relationship With a Man
when a man abruptly ends a relationship
Ever notice how when you first start dating, a man will court you and do all kinds of amazing and romantic things to win your heart, but once you’re in a committed relationship the romance starts to fizzle out?
He starts acting immature, depends on you for too many things (and isn’t appreciative)—while you keep giving more and more to make things work.
You’re sure that if you talk to him about it, he’ll recognize everything you’ve been doing and give you some understanding. But when you talk to him, it doesn’t work out this way at all. Instead of hearing and understanding you, he just becomes frustrated and defensive with you. He makes you feel like you’re creating a lot of “drama” and being ridiculous.
This is unfortunately a common experience lots of women have in relationships with men. Sure, there could be about 50 different reasons why the man is to blame, and you’ve probably spent a lot of time mulling over those reasons in your mind. But the first step towards real growth and awareness in every relationship you have in your life is the ability to question your part in why your relationships aren’t working.
That’s why changing your relationship with a man comes after you ask yourself one very important question: What patterns keep coming up in your relationships and why?
Set aside some time to think about and write down what kinds of issues and emotions keep coming up over and over in each relationship you have. I’m not talking about such things as “I always pick men that are clueless.” This is focusing on HIM, not YOU.
An example of a pattern you may recognize may be, “I get absorbed in my relationship so much that I forget about my friends and interests. Then we break up and I resent ignoring myself, my friends, and what I needed to be truly happy.”
A man, no matter how great, will never figure this kind of thing out for you, or make it better even when you’re in “the right” relationship. But when you take the time to discover and recognize your own patterns, you’ll start to finally identify your own habits that get you into trouble the most.
When you do identify these things, it may be tempting to tell yourself that all you have to do is just stop doing that specific behavior in order to fix things in your relationship, right? Wrong! This is a mistake a lot of people make in business, relationships and life—we treat the symptoms of a problem instead of seeing the whole system.
To have an exceptional relationship, both partners in the relationship have to be exceptional. That’s why when you aren’t feeling your best inside your relationship, things have a way of falling apart at every turn.
When you recognize how your weaknesses can also be strengths, such as being too generous or giving… you will begin to have a whole new level of understanding of yourself, and how your relationships play out. And you’ll start to have an amazing sense of clarity about the best thing to do—for yourself, for him, and for your relationship.
So do you know how to keep yourself happy and fulfilled inside your relationship, and does you’re man? It makes everything a whole whole lot easier, and allows for the kind of growth and expansion a lasting relationship needs.
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