Smoking is Killing Our Marriage – Three Tips From The Experts
Couples’ Smoking Habits Threaten Long-Term Marriage
If you’re a non-smoker and your spouse is a smoker, it can cause some major arguments and strains in the relationship. For example, you may fight over how much money they spend on cigarettes, or you may fight over the smell of the cigarettes or even fight over their health issues.
Chances are, you want your spouse to quit smoking because you want them to be healthy, and you should want your spouse to be healthy. But there are certain things that you can do to help them quit without getting into a fight, and here are three tips from the experts to help you do so.
- Talk calmly about it.
It may be hard to do, but you need to make sure that you are not arguing with your spouse about the issue. When you yell, threaten, accuse or belittle your spouse because of their habit, it will only make the situation worse. Instead, you need to have a calm and civilized conversation with your spouse about the issue. Let them know every reason why you’re concerned, whether it’s money, health, etc. Then, LISTEN to what they have to say in return. They too have some valid points, and they may have concerns of their own about quitting, and it’s important for you to talk openly with each other about all of your feelings if you want to resolve the issue.
- Offer to help.
Offer to help your spouse quit smoking. Maybe you need to physically give them a cigarette when they want one and limit the amount they can smoke. Maybe they need to be put on an allowance so that they can’t spend money on cigarettes. Maybe you need to remember to change out their nicotine patch. Talk with one another about how they want to quit and be there to help them do so, no matter what they may need from you.
- Keep an open mind.
If you’ve never had to quit smoking, you don’t know what your spouse is going through, what they’re feeling or what their body is feeling, and all the talking and nagging is not going to help. You need to understand that smoking is a very hard habit to quit, and it has been reported that it’s harder to quit than heroin or crack. Because of this, you want to make sure that you are always keeping an open mind about your spouse trying to quit and be a positive reinforcer while they’re trying. You may just be the only motivation they have to keep trying, and if they’re successful, it will be because of you.
Smoking is a very unhealthy habit that puts plenty of strain on relationships. Whether your concerns are health or monetary related, it’s very important that you talk openly with your spouse about your concerns and find the best possible solution for both of you. Having an open line of communications and being there to positively help your spouse will be the only way to keep your marriage alive.
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