Financial Infidelity: Is Your Partner Cheating on You with Money?
Financial Infidelity: how to find out if wife is cheating on You With Your Money?
Dylan and Stephanie, who have been together for over 10 years without any serious marital issues, suddenly faced a crisis. Since they were married, Dylan had been under the impression that they shared a joint bank account, that they had an equal say in how funds in their savings and checking accounts are appropriated, and that any newly acquired funds or large expenses would be shared and discussed before decisions were made as to what they would do with them. Three years ago, Stephanie’s grandmother passed away, leaving in her will a sum of $5,000 in inheritance to Stephanie—or so Dylan thought.

The Truth Always Comes Out
It turns out, Stephanie’s grandmother left her $50,000: an inheritance which Stephanie saw as rightly her own, that she did not wish to share with her husband. She deposited $5,000 of the inheritance into their joint bank account, and then opened a separate bank account to deposit the remaining $45,000. Thinking she wanted to capitalize even further on her large inheritance, she went even further and put a down payment down on house, and took out a loan, thinking it a smart investment at the time. The housing crisis happened, the house Stephanie had purchased with her inheritance dropped far below market value, and she found herself unable to pay the mortgage. Not knowing what to do, Stephanie came clean to Dylan explaining she needed more money to pay for a house she owned that was now “underwater.”(1)
Read:
- Tips To Fix Your Troubled Relationship If you having problems in a relationship
- Financial Infidelity: Is Your Partner Cheating on You with Money?
Lock It Up
With reports saying financial infidelity is becoming more common, it is helpful to know how to spot potential cases in your own relationship. Although there is no “financial infidelity protection” service currently available, identity theft protection by companies like LifeLock can serve as an integral added layer of protection that could point toward any erratic spending or unspotted financial irregularities. Most importantly, encouraging open communication and trust about financial matters with your spouse is the most important strategy you can use to approach this issue.
Cheater Cheater, Pumpkin Eater
Experts have a name for Stephanie’s maneuvering, according to a report by Red Book Mag: financial infidelity. And according to sources, they say can it can be as damaging to a relationship as adultery. In 2010, a survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education found that 31 percent of people admitted to hiding information about debt, purchases, or bank balances from their spouses. And according to financial therapist Amanda Claymen in New York City, financial infidelity is now even harder to conceal because of the recession and shaky unemployment market.(2)
Read: Don’t feel bad about dropping your love interest if they exhibit signs of being a loser
In Red Book Mag’s report interviewing Claymen, she tells of how a laid-off partner may feel ashamed about his or her inability to contribute to the family, and that “can lead to hiding purchases big and small,” she says. In addition, Claymen counsels spouses, frightened by their current economic stability, who hide away money from their more spendy partners by stashing it away in separate accounts much like Stephanie did.
“I don’t think calling this behavior infidelity is overstating it,” she says. “When someone does something to breach the trust in a relationship, it’s a betrayal.”